Wedding dilemas – Should I ask children to our wedding….

Chatting to engaged couples over the years, other suppliers, friends and family getting married and now getting married ourselves there seems to be some common awkward decisions to make which should be so easy.  With the help of some now married brides over the next few weeks we’ll be looking at a few of them starting with the below guide to should I invite children to our wedding:

Should I Ask Children to Our Wedding

There isn’t a definitive yes and no answer but it is a question that manages to cause heated discussions and strong opinions.

For us we have met in what I hope is a middle ground and hope we’ve not offended anyone but we will invite family children as our day wouldn’t be the same without them and they all form part of our bridal party: bridesmaids, flower girls, page boys.  We have also chatted to friends who will be travelling for the weekend without any family here and made sure they know that although we are not having children as a whole if they don’t feel comfortable leaving their children for this amount of time that we are more than happy to have them there.  I also hope that our friends who are struggling to make it without their children would let us know and we can accommodate this.  When chatting to friends casually about the topic most of them love the opportunity to enjoy a day without worrying about any crying, disappearing children etc… and to be able to let their hair down and have a few drinks and in the mean time grandparents / aunties etc… can bond with their special mini people as baby sitters for the day.

Views from some now married brides most of which are now mums:

“At our wedding, the only children were in the bridal party, with the exception of my cousins who brought their very small ones as they were staying the night and didn’t have child care. I personally like having the opportunity of going to a wedding and not having to worry about a toddler running around, getting tired and whiny and I can dance into the wee hours! Our daughter is an angel most of the time but I wouldn’t take her on a night out so why take her to a wedding where I’d be conscious about drinking and would spend the night running round after her whilst my husband propped the bar up, lol!”

“I had just 40 guests and an evening wedding so the only child was my little sister. I think it’s your day and you get to have it which ever way you like and accept you cant please everyone.”

“We were originally quite open to the idea of inviting children to our wedding and asked a few friends what their thoughts were on this and the majority actually preferred to come without their children as they would find the day more relaxing and not have to leave early due to tired children! So to keep things simple we just stuck to family children being invited and everyone seemed happy!
I think it depends on whose wedding I am attending as to whether or not I feel like the children should be invited, if it was a family wedding I would probably be disappointed if my children weren’t invited, but to a friends wedding I wouldn’t mind either way and like my friends would probably enjoy a relaxing, child free day for a change!”

“We didn’t invite other peoples children which is probably quite a strange thing to do as we had our own there and our nephews, but our thinking was that people have a better time if they can relax a bit and not have to worry about what their children are up to, we wouldn’t have said no if people has asked if they could bring them though.”

“We didn’t invite children to our wedding as it was such a small do of only 20 guests.  If I’m truthful I never even gave a thought to any baby sitting issues etc this may have presented to our guests who did have children, as I didn’t have children of my own the thought never even occurred to me! As a parent now, it is easier to take my child to a wedding with me as I don’t have to get a baby sitter and then make sure said baby sitter has everything they may need for the day. However if I do take my child I don’t enjoy the day as much as your always dreading that they’ll be the child that throws a wobbler during the ceremony or speeches, and you have to sort their meal out for them when you want to be enjoying yours etc. If there are a few children there it’s not too bad as your child’s behaviour gets drowned out by the others but if there isn’t really any other children there I think I’d prefer to go solo.”

Below are some great links with other pro / against arguments for inviting children

Please feel free to add comments on whether you are planning on inviting children or as a parent what your preference is or have you struggled with any offended guests are a result of not having invited their children?

If you are having any children at your wedding here’s some ideas for keeping them occupied over on our Pinterest:

Next week is the debate on adding plus ones to invitations…




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